Strangely silent

This past week as been extremely busy for me and I feel I need a couple days to catch up. One thing that has been occupying my mind is an email a relative sent me. It was a story about a teenage girl who was having some personal problems such as a boyfriend who suddenly broke up with her, failing algrebra, and a close girl friend moving to a different city. The moral of the story was that God throws bad stuff at us but the end result is good because God love us. There was no attempt at critical thinking in the email; at talking about why these things were happening. It bothered me that this relative felt proud to send this to everyone and she probably got a lot of "Amens" send back in response.

On a side note: this relative has recently moved back with her mother with four young children in tow because the husband is irresponsible. Divorced? Won't do it because of her religion. I'm absolutely sure she lives her life as if God is in control and shit continues to happen to her. I used to feel sorry for her but I'm finding it hard to do so now.

Anyway, the email was sent last week and since I've been busy I haven't had the time to respond. But another thought is "Why bother?" There is no way I can answer this is a way that will be gentle and not condescending so the resulting response from her will be one of anger. I guess I should be the good little atheist and say something tactful about the parenting skills of the mother in this story.

Update. This is the email I sent to my relative:

I'm concerned that this email sends the wrong message to parents and to children. I would hope that this mother also sat down with her daughter to explain that there are good reasons for events that happen to us and that we should use critical thinking to solve our problems. A good example would be for this mother to have a heart to heart talk about why boys break up with girls or vice versa. Perhaps the daughter was unwilling to have sex with the boyfriend and he broke up for that reason. Wouldn't you want to know that information as a mother? It would be an important opportunity to instill high self esteem in this girl who is hurting because a boy no longer likes her. Just telling her that God has a plan isn't enough. Perhaps another idea would be to find out why the daughter is failing algebra and solve that problem. Again, telling the girl only that this is God's plan encourages her to accept defeat without trying to find an answer to a problem. With the friend who is moving away, an explanation about parents getting transferred or divorced would be easier to accept along with the explanation of God's plan for the future.

I know you realize this and are giving your children critical thinking skills to deal with life, at least I imagine that you are. It's just that this little story broke my heart about what some parents may be teaching their daughters about accepting the crappy things that life throws us without giving them a chance to succeed by thinking through their problems. God did give us a brain for a reason, right?

This isn't meant to offend you and I'm so sorry if it has, but this email has been bothering me since you sent it and I had to say something. I think, as women, we especially need these critical thinking skills to be everything God intended us to be. This is the greatest gift a mother can give to her daughter.

I think I handled it pretty well. I chose to approach it from a Christian POV and included the God stuff just to be nice and understanding. What do you think? I'll post what kind of response I get if any.