Someone is about to die in my family

It was bound to happen. An extended family member has an inoperable type of fast acting cancer and she'll be gone soon. Perhaps within the year. That means there will be a Christian funeral of the evangelical kind. The worst. Argh.

I've been to many funerals. They all seem to start innocuous at first. There's the eulogy and the friends/family that share their fondest memories. If it stopped right there I would be fine with it; but it goes on. With no exception every service is spent on proselytizing for Jesus. To this day I have yet to understand this. Most of the mourners are already Christian, especially if the dead guy is old. I've looked around during this particular time of the funeral and most people are not paying attention. It's usually the people in the front row, bowing their heads and exclaiming at every other word "Amen!" being totally oblivious to the bored people around them. The hubris of these people and of the minister is astounding to think that someone might find Jesus at the funeral. It rude to think that someone may need Jesus during this time...or is it done on purpose?  If so, then that is especially disgusting to me.

The last funeral I attended was for an ancient Aunt who had a very tough life and died with dementia and was blind. I felt very bad for her. I already knew that I was going to be held prisoner for a few minutes and felt that it wouldn't be much of a problem so I went. Big mistake. It was a total waste of my time and I gained nothing out of it. I felt gross and disgusted afterwards and promised myself never to do it again. Never. No exceptions.

This particular relative that is dying has been exceptionally ugly to me. Not to my face, mind you. That's not the Christian way, at least not in my family. Everyone talks about everyone else behind their backs. Many years ago I decided to stop having anything to do with them and their little childish immoral activities. So there's that. But there is also the fact that I don't want to go to another Christian funeral. There is absolutely no regard to non-Christians and I'm tired of wasting my valuable time, usually a whole fucking day, to be a warm body in a church.

So I'm not going to anymore Christian funerals. And most especially this one.

My New Motto

"Atheism is not a religion, it's a personal relationship with reality." - Comment posted at Greta Christina's Blog by "Dr. Dave."

New Look, new blog

It's been a few months since I posted anything on my old blog. One reason is my sister had found it though my twitter account and it seemed to extinguish any hopes of her wanting to have a positive relationship with me. Not that I can blame her; this blog can be seen as hostile towards people who believe in god. And she a believer; hook, line, and sinker.

I have reason to believe that she has told others in the extended family about my blog. And that's OK. Unfortunately the result is they think I'm the kind of person that will antagonize them with my "horrible" atheistic views. Funny, that's something I've never ever done to anyone in my family.

There are several characteristics that are common in fundamental evangelical Christians (FEC) that are pervasive in my family. Three which come to mind are arrogance, close-mindedness, and the ability to be offended at the slightest provocation. Since I'm the kind of person who is open and honest to a fault FEC's can't stand being around me. I know this for a fact, I've tested it.

But there is another reason the FEC's in my life don't like me. A study conducted by the University of Minnesota found that atheists are still the most disliked minority group in the US. Here is a sampling of the survey:

I would disapprove if my child wanted to marry a member of this group....

Atheist: 47.6%
Muslim: 33.5%
African-American 27.2%
Asian-Americans: 18.5%
Hispanics: 18.5%
Jews: 11.8%
Conservative Christians: 6.9%
Whites: 2.3%

The biggest glaring fact this survey shows is bigotry is very much alive and well in America. I guess that's not a big secret. The next fact that I see is that 47.6% of Americans have no idea what an atheist is.

This is a common thread I see in other atheist's blogs where they are shunned by family. Love of an unseen, unproven God and the corresponding religion trumps the love of the atheist family member. In fact, within my family and I suspect others as well, there is no attempt to educate oneself as to what and atheist/freethinker/humanist is and what ethics they embrace. In other words there is no attempt to get to know the atheist or to find an "excuse" to love them.

I'm not sure what my relatives think of me. I suspect they think I'm a bad and terrible person. Why they think this of me I have no idea. I've always been nice and cordial and I've always behaved in a normal way around them. I've laughed at their jokes, made a few of my own, I've cried at funerals, and have made a point to "fit in" to a certain degree. I do have to say that I've always felt like an outsider. A quality that I think one is born with and no amount of indoctrination can overcome. I was a nerd, a geek, different. The atheism is a byproduct of my differentism.

I know. I have written this "family thing" to death on my blog. My husband has grown weary of my complaints and, over the past year, they have all but stopped. The contact I have with the FEC's are nonexistent at best and I think they are happy with the situation too. In fact, with no much to go on, I'm absolutely sure of it!

Thoughts to ponder

I came across this video from a young black atheist who ponders why poor people believe in god and what the consequences are in believing in said god. He makes some very good points, all of which I have seen in my family of origin.



One of the major harms in believing in god is the mistrust is encourages in academia and in science. I admit that whenever I hear about a new discovery I will be skeptical until I either read more about it or experience it myself. Believers don't do this. They follow the "status quo" of their church or the others in their in-group. My first hand experience has been when talking to a member of my family of origin about the death penalty I was told that no matter what evidence I provided her mind was not going to change. The fact that she was adamantly unwilling to listen to another POV or reconsider a position taken by her church and community speaks volumes of the control that religion (belief in god) has over people.

Crazy things religion will make one do

Polk woman who died alone while fasting was following God's call, husband says

So on Feb. 7, she locked herself in a bedroom to pray and fast. She brought water and prayer requests and told her husband not to bother her.

"This is what I have to do," she told him.

For more than three weeks, Boyd, 55, didn't emerge. Her family could have come to her aid if she needed help, but her husband wanted to respect her wish to be alone. He figured she'd be okay, just like the last four times she fasted.

But on the 26th day, family members forced the door open. They found her dead.

Another good reason to be an atheist!

Myths of Atheism dispelled nicely

This is a video that would help my super-duper religious relatives understand how much they have misunderstood me and the position of atheism in general.

I don't live in a vacuum and do realize that my super-duper religious relatives ever understanding me is a pipe dream at best. I get it. My facebook experiment was a tremendous success in my mind. I figured I'd be able to friend many of my super-duper religious relatives but I also figured many of them would either drop my friendship, block me, or just ignore me. Except for a couple of exceptions, mostly from people who are not close relatives, I have been right about how my super-duper religious relatives have treated me. It's been a sad experience but one which I can slam the door on for good.

Health Reform or Another Reason I'm not a Republican

How to believe in god

From an article by Sam Harris at the Washington Post in the On Faith section Harris details how to trick oneself into believing in something that rationally cannot exist:

How to Believe in God
Six Easy Steps

1. First, you must want to believe in God.
2. Next, understand that believing in God in the absence of evidence is especially noble.
3. Then, realize that the human ability to believe in God in the absence of evidence might itself constitute evidence for the existence of God.
4. Now consider any need for further evidence (both in yourself and in others) to be a form of temptation, spiritually unhealthy, or a corruption of the intellect.
5. Refer to steps 2-4 as acts of “faith.”
6. Return to 2.

Like Harris says, this method has worked for billions, and it will work for you too.

Giving up my god-belief wasn't as hard for me as some because I never saw what was noble about believing in childish things like the virgin birth or the resurrection. I remember being embarrassed for the people who would walk up to the preacher to accept Jesus. Jesus was the same as Santa Claus or the tooth fairy to me, just as unbelievable and just as silly. When I experience that arrogance from some of my super-duper religious relatives I have to cringe inside. How does believing in or having faith in something so incredible make them better than me? It doesn't. To me they seem gullible and a bit dumb. There's nothing noble about that.

Atheist Meme of the Day

"We don't know anything for sure, therefore it's reasonable to believe in religion" is a terrible argument. Even though we can almost never have certain knowledge, we can still evaluate evidence and make reasonable conclusions about what's probably true. And there's no good evidence suggesting that any religion is probable, or even plausible."

Why I am Pro-choice and Pro-woman's rights

I've had a concern troll making comments on my abortion post which made me want to clarify my position. I deleted his posts (I'm assuming this was a man) because the information he posted was irrelevant and added nothing to the argument of freedom of choice. All of what he posted was false information anyway.

Most of my friends are pro-choice and we have all talked about this subject a great deal. None of us are FOR abortions. In a perfect world it would be a wonderful to wake up and have complete control of our reproductive systems. In this perfect world we would also have complete control of our personal lives and the people around us so our pregnancy would be a wonderful and trouble-free experience. You know, without some guy running out on us or abusing us or withholding affection just because of an unexpected pregnancy. What a great world it would be to have perfect health insurance and be guaranteed nothing terrible would happen.

Unfortunately that is not reality. Many of us are fortunate and have wonderful experiences getting pregnant and raising a family. Many of us are not. I was one of those. My ex-husband and I planned to get pregnant and when I did he copped out and claimed he wanted nothing more to do with me. I was unemployed, scared and alone. I had no money, no family, and no support. I was devastated and in no condition emotionally or physically to go through a full term pregnancy. I sought out many solutions but the best one for me was to start over. I don't remember where I went but I do remember the women at the clinic being understanding and compassionate. I was made aware of my choices and my risks and I never regretted my decision.

There are many stories like that and more. The circumstances don't matter. What matters is that women are able to get an abortion that is safe and legal. Once this procedure becomes illegal it becomes unsafe and deadly. Why? Because if a woman needs to end a pregnancy for whatever reason she will find a way to get one. That might mean trying to induce a miscarriage on her own by taking a chemical that might kill her or harm her, or she may use another way where she could bleed to death. What is certain is if a woman wants an abortion making it illegal won't keep her from trying to end an unwanted pregnancy.

This is why I'm pro-choice. The reason I am pro-woman is because I want my sisters to have choices: safe, healthy choices that will give them and their families the best life has to offer.

That's it. I don't care one bit if anti-choicers think a zygote is really a person. I don't care if a women has had 6 abortions. I don't care that anti-choicers think this is some sort of conspiracy or tyranny. I don't care, I don't care, I don't care. The only thing that matters is that women have a choice to do whatever they want with their bodies and that it is legal and safe. If you don't want an abortion, don't get one. That is your choice.

Republicans are stupid!

There, I said it. OK, let me rephrase: Religious Republicans are stupid!

Got your attention?

From Newsleader.com:

State Delegate Bob Marshall of Manassas says disabled children are God's punishment to women who have aborted their first pregnancy.

He made that statement Thursday at a press conference to oppose state funding for Planned Parenthood.

"The number of children who are born subsequent to a first abortion with handicaps has increased dramatically. Why? Because when you abort the first born of any, nature takes its vengeance on the subsequent children," said Marshall, a Republican.

"In the Old Testament, the first born of every being, animal and man, was dedicated to the Lord. There's a special punishment Christians would suggest."

Mr. Marshall just pulled that statement out of his ass. There is no proof that this happens. In fact, you know what usually happens to the first born in the bible? That's right: death! The first born are sacrificed to god, up to and including Jesus. Nothing is said or implied that anything happens to the others born into the family...nothing! Mr Marshall says this crap because he knows that Christians will accept it and will even applaud him without any proof.

At least he apologized...sort of.

To read more visit here and here.

Why I'm not a Republican anymore

I was raised by very conservative parents and by a very religious mother in a very conservative, religious part of Texas. I was also indoctrinated into the Republican Party.

This unto itself is not a bad thing. I believed what I was told about the Republican Party and didn't really give it much thought. But after awhile I started paying attention to what was being said and what was actually happening to the Party I thought was looking out for my best interests.

This has all changed over the last 5 years for me.

Republicans in general are hypocrites and liars.

What's worse is they don't care if they get caught. They know that we (as a society) have very short memories. They also know that religion gets a free pass by the gullible and delusional. Unfortunately the United States, as wonderful as it still is, is full of gullible, delusional, lazy and ignorant people ripe to believe that the Republican Party, the Party of Jesus, wouldn't dare lead them astray.

There is a force in the United States right now that doesn't have the middle class or the families living at the poverty level's best interest in mind. It is so insidious that it has even convinced these poor people who are barely making ends meet that they are the ones to support. If I was a believer I would swear it looks like Satan had his hand in this.

There are a few Republicans I admire and I wish there were more of them.

Am I a Democrat? I would say that I agree with most of their politics. If being pro-choice, in agreement with equal rights for women, gays, minorities, for the public option and health care reform makes one a Democrat then I'm am proud to be among them but I don't want to paint myself into a corner. There are problems in both parties, to be sure, but I find the Republicans to be less about the common person and more about rich people and about misleading the middle class. I don't want to be associated with that.

I hope this isn't true....but

A Republican being booed by....Republicans?

I found this video LOL hilarious on so many levels. Republicans are supposed to hate the gay, aren't they? This man spouting this hate is totally right based on the platforms of the ultra right wingnut base of the Party of Jesus. Why was he being booed? Could it be that he was so obviously wrong? When the camera panned over the crowd I swear it looked like they couldn't believe what they were hearing. Pure gold!

The power of free speech. It's wonderful when someone uses it to let us all know what a douche-bag one is!


Damn I love this country!

Lecture at Planned Parenthood

Last night I attended a lecture by Darrel Ray at Planned Parenthood in downtown Houston last night. I had to park my car across the street and as I walked toward the entrance I noticed a couple of guys walking around. I asked them where the entrance into the building was and, instead of answering my question, one of the men asked me what was going on in the building. I suppose he had seen lots of people who were obviously not getting abortions walking in and he was naturally curious. Well I was totally not ready for a protester so I answered his questions. I told him about the lecture and that it was being attended by atheists. He asked me then if I was an atheist and I proudly said that I was. His demeanor then drastically changed and tried to hand me a leaflet which I only kept after his third attempt at begging me to read it. As I was walking away he says, "Do you know where you're going? They kill babies in there!" Argh! I wish I had been warned but it was past 7pm and I never imagined they would be out there at that time. I angrily told him that I had an abortion several years ago and I never regretted it. Then I made a beeline to the nearest trash can and loudly informed that man that I was throwing his shit away.

The lecture was wonderful, but it took several minutes to calm myself down before entering the conference room. This may be my opinion but people who protest outside of Planned Parenthood are ignorant, and proudly so, of what this organization is truly about. The mission statement of Planned Parenthood is "to ensure that all women, men and teens have access to safe, affordable health care and accurate information. That’s why Planned Parenthood is a plan you can love with." It seems to me that these protesters are also against the freedom of people, both men and women, to seek affordable health care and they also hate women. This makes me angry on so many levels.

I got my first pap smear and my first month of birth control from Planned Parenthood in Sinton, Texas. My mother took me. I was 17 years old. 

At the moment Planned Parenthood is experiencing the yearly "40 days of harassment" based on the religious observance of Lent. What an ingenuous way to pervert god's message, but I digress. I've been made aware of this from a HCoF friend who has been a volunteer escort for several years. He knows that I don't work and has been gently convincing me that I should do this. Well, after being confronted on the sidewalk by a protester I signed up. I told them that I didn't think I had the discipline to ignore the stupidity of the protesters and that I'd have to do something else. They laughed and said it would be no problem. I was impressed with the causal dismissal the staff had of the protesters. I guess they have become so used to their insanity and ignorance and they knew there was no hope for them. 

What I think about religion (and other things affirmed with no proof)

"What can be asserted without proof can be dismissed without proof." ~Christopher Hitchens

Hell

As a child growing up in a religious household I don't remember giving much thought to the idea of hell. I think I dismissed it so easily because it was hard to imagine that God (the one in my head) could not be so evil as to condemn people who never heard of him to such a horrible place. The explanations my mother gave were so vague that I wasn't convinced. I also have a hard time imagining what those excuses were over 40 years later.

Christopher Hitchens, in the video above, describes Christianity in a way I think I always saw it, even as a child. The story on it's own merits is hard to believe in a rational way. Now that I've educated myself on the history of the bible, it's translations over several millennia during widely differing political climates, there is no way I could ever accept Christianity at face value not to mention on it's moral standing.

His challenge is also worth noting: show evidence that any moral action inspired by religion could not also be accomplished without reliance on the supernatural. I'm still waiting too.

Another example of bad behavior from Christians

My last post was about my secular morals being superior to some Christian morals. I've argued that before when discussing how my super-duper religious relatives have blocked my emails or have unfriended me from facebook. When I had my first blog on AOL (this is my 2nd blog, btw) I surprised at the venom from Christians when they would comment on my posts. They were so hateful and nasty that I had to calm myself down after reading them. It took several months to get used to the vitriol but by then I got bored with the constant attacks and stopped posting.

I've had this blog for a few years and, although I don't get much traffic now, the comments are much more sane and reasonable. But that's not the case everywhere. Christians are still the majority and when they feel that can bully someone around they do with such glee. This article is only a small example of what ignorant and arrogant Christians will do when they know they can get away with horrible, bad behavior and know that the powers that be will not dare call them out on it. I feel bad for this teacher but know that eventually she will have to quit and move on if she is to get any satisfaction out of her job. I wish her well.

Superior morals?

One of the things that has always bothered me about Christians/Republicans/my religious family is their smugness about their moral standing. I want to comment on the reasons why they are wrong.

I want to discuss two issues that I find I differ from the above groups diametrically. The first issue is the death penalty. I have lots of reasons for thinking the death penalty is immoral but I'll only mention one because it should be the one that changes minds...and it doesn't. Our justice system is so flawed that we convict and sentence lots of innocent people to death row. That system is not going to change in the near future. Our states are killing innocent people because of this flawed system. I have used this argument before and it rarely changes minds. (That's a subject for another post, BTW.)

The second issue is equal rights for homosexuals. Again I have lots of reasons I think the current bigotry against this small group of people is immoral but I'll focus on one. We should not be using the opinion of the majority of the state to dictate what rights a minority can have. Imagine that we are back 40 years when African-Americans were fighting for equality and the abolition of the "separate but equal" laws. This is exactly what gay people are fighting for and it is shamefully immoral to deny them the same rights heterosexuals enjoy.

There are lots of reasons I'm given from Christians/Republicans/religious people for these opposing views on these two issues. The reasons are always religious. When it comes to the death penalty the reasons for their closed-minded acceptance can be traced to the myths of a vengeful God in the Old Testament of the bible. And again, the bigotry against homosexuals clearly originates from this Old Testament. There is no other reason for it.

It is disturbing to me that religious people are smug and outwardly proud of their morals, morals that are harmful to people and cause lasting pain and anguish to families. What do you tell the family that spend all of their money on trying to prove that their father is innocent only to see him get murdered by the state for a crime he didn't commit? How about the couple that want to spend the rest of their lives together, as their friends have been able to, that they can't get married just because they are a same-sex couple?

This is cut and dry. It is immoral to single out a small group of people who aren't hurting anyone and make laws to discriminate against them. It's also immoral to kill a group of people when our justice system still cannot guarantee that each person is 100% guilty. Fortunately as we progress through time these issues will become painfully clear. Already the old bigots are dying off and being replaced by people who are comfortable with gay people and want them to have the same rights as straights. With the acceptance of DNA testing it's becoming clear that a high percentage of people on death row are indeed innocent. It is also very expensive for the state to kill people and it's becoming better policy to convict without parole. Time will tell.

No Comment

(Rick Perry is the current Republican Governor of Texas, the state I live in. He is very religious and has very conservative family values. In other words he is for abstinence only sex education, against equal rights for homosexuals, for the continuation of our barbaric death penalty, wants to secede from the Federal Government, turns down federal grant money (stimulus package for creating jobs), and likes Sarah Palin.)