An interesting year.

2008 has been an interesting year for me. There were lots of firsts: trip to New York to watch the US Open, playing with dolphins in Cabo San Lucas. There were a few epiphany moments as well. They involved my family of origin and new thoughts on religion.

While in NY I meet a guy in a bar who wore religious jewelry in the form of a charm around the neck. He said was the patron saint of something then asked what religion was I. Answering proudly that I’m an Atheist I noticed he cringed ever so slightly. In response I said that I felt if he shared this tidbit then I had the right to share the same tidbit about myself. With relief on his face agreed then the subject was changed.

One the same trip I came out to a friend who had mentioned she felt sorry for atheists. We talked about what it meant to be an atheist and I’m sure I dispelled some myths she may have had. She is still a dear friend and I’m pretty sure she’s not praying for me.

These two experiences had a dramatic effect on me. I made a decision to discuss religion in any context if, and only if, it is brought up by another person. In my mind it gives me the right to voice my differing opinion but it also forces the other person to have to listen. Sounds good in practice but as it turns out super sensitive religious people have no tolerance and will not reciprocate.

My mother and sister are of the super sensitive variety of Christians. What’s great about this type of Christian is there no confrontation. Let me explain.

Mom likes to start her emails off with a bible verse or a god friendly quote. One such quote was about how if one doesn’t get guidance from god they are getting it from someone or something else. I totally agreed and wrote a short note:

I actually love this saying you are including in your email. I know I'm not guided by "God" because I'm guided by my own experiences and my conscience. I was also guided by what you and Dad taught me as a child. My other sources of guidance included teachers, relatives, authority figures such as policemen, and friends.

One thing I learned about "God" from reading the Bible is he's a mean, nasty guy and you never know when he's going to want to wipe out every living thing from the earth or ask you to kill your first born son (or daughter, or family). I'm glad I'm not guided by that monster!

I know that's not what you intended to mean by that saying but that's what it means to me. Thanks!

I know, it’s harsh, but it’s also appropriate. I also was not trying to convert her. The point of view was mine and I was only responding. That email was dated 11/22/2008 and that’s when she removed me from her email list. Now there’s just silence.

This is the way my mother and sister think: I’ll just stop emailing Tina because she is nasty to me when I write about my god; instead of: I’ll stop putting god stuff in my email because Tina responses to it in a way I can’t handle. Like I said, if they put god stuff in their email I will respond in turn. It’s fair.

Or is it?

Anyway, I’m the happiest I’ve been regarding my mother and sister in a long time. Silence, in this instance, is definitely golden.