During my journey to atheism I noticed how I wandered aimlessly, almost unconsciously, thru life. I had a job and the occasional boyfriend, but everyday it was the same thing. When I looked around I saw people who made a difference; people in power who guided other's lives for better or for worse. I knew I was never going to be one of those people. I didn't have the education nor the motivation to do such things.
In my late twenties I discovered that my life was meaningless. I know that sounds harsh so let me clarify. Being a realist I knew my limits and tried to live my life within those limits. I wasn't depressed or in despair, quite the contrary; I was a reasonably happy, dysfunctional person. If, at that moment I was to die, my family and a couple of friends would be somewhat sad about the occasion, then life would go on for them. To my surprise I wasn't devastated by this realization. So what! I wasn't meaningful to a lot of people, but my life meant a lot to me. A tremendous amount! I set out to make myself happier and surround myself with quality people.
Twenty years later my life is filled with activities and service. I still think my life is meaningless and I'll tell you why. My father died almost 3 years ago. He was loved by many people and everyone mourned their particular lose in their own way, but nothing changed for anyone; not in that earth-shattering, eye-opening kind of way. Life went on. This is how my life will end as well.
My life does have purpose at this moment; at this time and space. There is one person who depends on me for quality of life. If I don't pay the bills or get groceries or cook dinner his quality of life (and mine) diminishes considerably. I'm motivated to do these things, along with others, to enrich our lives. In a small way others depend on me to enrich their lives as well. This gives me purpose and I am content.
What I'm saying is life is what you make of it. Our lives weren't giving "meaning" by some sky-daddy who steers our lives. The purpose for our lives are assigned by us, by our consciousness, by our brains. My number one rule is to try very hard not to hurt people and that should be everyone's rule as well.
2 comments:
You know, it's hard for me to comment on your posts, you say things that could have come from my mouth. I do know what you mean about dying and life goes on. I have my children to remember me when I am gone.
Live well, enjoy life and help others to do the same.
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