When I was in my early 20's I fell in love and lived with a man that was much older than I. He was mature and handsome; my knight in shining armor. Unbeknownst to me, because of my inexperience, he was an accident waiting to happen; marred during his childhood by his alcoholic mother and as an adult by years as a Navy SEAL in Vietnam.
I realize now that my parents set me up for these kinds of relationships. I wasn't taught how distinguish between good men and bad men. The prevailing thought was that God would take care of putting that right person in my life. I would only have to pay attention to grab that opportunity. Unfortunately, God gave lots of bad men the opportunity to be in my life and mine in theirs.
(Disclaimer: I believed in god during this time so it made perfect sense to me.)
After a couple of years into this relationship I got pregnant. It was bad timing, I suppose. I had just lost my job and this man admitted that he didn't love me anymore. My world was shattered. Keep in mind that I was 21 years old and had nothing to fall back on. No job, no money, no family, and no church. Everyone had abandoned me and I felt, well, there's not a word in the English language that could describe how I felt. In fact, 24 years later, right now I'm crying remembering how I felt that day.
The thought of going through a pregnancy with no support was overwhelming and my choices narrowed down to one. Abortion. For a couple years afterwards I felt sadness for what I had to do but am also grateful that I had access to a legal and safe place to do so and that I was able to continue with my life. Now, 24 years later, no regrets.
A couple years ago I was having a friendly debate with a Christian friend. Of course I argued the side of a woman's right to choose. My friend said that I couldn't be involved in this debate because I wasn't a mother; I couldn't possibly know what it was like to love and be loved by a child of my own. That inspired me to say, "Well, I've had an abortion and I know what it's like to have the freedom to do with my body as I choose. It's an important right and it goes much deeper than you, with your shallow Christian values, like to think." She was interested to know more but unfortunately I never got the chance to help educate her.
Of course those of us that are "Pro-choice" don't want on-demand abortions. That's irresponsible and stupid. What we advocate is to keep it legal and safe, but we also want more education on how to prevent pregnancies and STDs. Prevention will keep abortions from having to happen.
1 comment:
I'm sorry that you had to go through that.But as a woman WITH four children, I totally agree with you on abortion. It has nothing to do with anyone else except you! Period! People that believe there is a god can still tell us that we will go to hell and they will pray for us...doesn't matter, WE don't believe . It doesn't mean we don't care about children and WANT to have an abortion,it's a matter of, it's our bodies, I don't tell another person what to do with their body. How about we tell the evangelicals for instance that they need to stop indoctrinating children about religion?? It's hurting them! It reinforces ideas about killing in the name of god...right? Just wondering if people went by the bible literally, what would happen?
Post a Comment